So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
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Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
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Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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