im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize