She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
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She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
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Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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