I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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