i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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