Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize