i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize