all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
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I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
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Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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