Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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