Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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