Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize