i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize