Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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