I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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