"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize