Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
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It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
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Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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