all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize