can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize