My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
