Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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