you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
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I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
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I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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