I'm really into asian looking animals
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize