Swine flu. Run for my life!
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize