i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I had to cum in my sink.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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