I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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