just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Dicks are not precious.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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