Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just gift wrapped bread.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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