...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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