There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
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The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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