If i come over, it means nothing
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
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Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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