he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize