If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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