she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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