if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
so much tequila, so little girl.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize