Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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