I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize