awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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