Define "chronic" masturbator.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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