Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize