Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize