I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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