We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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