Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize