Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
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Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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