Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Michael Bay diarrhea
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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