We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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