I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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