You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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