I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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