Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize