dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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